Monday, September 29, 2008
Pondering
The past will shape you to what you are for the present and the future? Hmmm.. Hope so.. Its in one of the lines i read in a book.The shadow of your past does helps to make you into a better person. Maybe because you tend to avoid those bitter scenarios or situations that you might have gone through before. Here i am, stuck in the shadow of my past. For a moment. i thought that i could be happy and be merry with the person i love most, but little did i know that the nightmares came back. Being ignored, shouted and scolded repeatedly for a mistake that you do not know whether your are right or wrong. Vulgarities hurled at you straight in the face. Scary.. I need some one. Some one who can take me away from all that. I know its all in the past, but no one will under stand the hurt that has brought upon me.To add to this inner fear i have for relationships and bad treatment, she can't do it. I don't blame her for it. She ain't the type to comfort you and be by your side. But who shall i look for if i needed some one to be there for me?? Hmmm.. Sorry guys, after Hari Raya AidilFitri, i might be shutting this blog down. At least i have this blog to talk to i guess(ALONE). Haha.. Gile rite??? But who cares.. That is what a blog is.God had put me through so many test. Putting me through hardship. With the past i had, with my family, friends. I am glad this is all over for me. I miss my uncles, cousins and aunties. The month where you get together and be happy with your closest relatives and friends. Without doubt there will be more challenges to come but going through the last two years of my life was really a roller-coaster rite. I finally could breathe clean air. I finally can feel that i am walking the correct path of life. Thanks Allah..Now back to cleaning up the house. Haha!! Mama really making use of me... Lolz...Before i forget, friends... Senang2 come my hse k for raye.. The address you can call me for it.. How u can call me??? Tag up la.. Then i give u my hp number and address.. Till then Happy Kemasing!!(Too early to wish hari raya leh!!!)Fadli aka FiDDLer
Music Took Control at; 2:31 PM
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Time has proven......
It has been a month plus and it is proven that time does changes everything. Nerdy E'ah is opening up to me. Our one month anniversary, her birthday celebration.... She finally is moved. Haha.. Let me spare the details ba! Lolz..Fasting month is coming to an end soon. It has been a fruitful one. I guess during the holy month is when an individual sits back and just reflects about his purpose in life and the things he has achieved in life. That is what i did though. I have not achieved much yet. Rather i gained something that is so valuable in me. I moved on from my past. Learnt to be a stronger person. Met some1 great!!! The childish personality, the fun personality still do exists hor! Lolz.. A job which I will work on to achieve my dream. Insyallah, God will guide me to the correct path one day. A journey that i dream of.......A good son, a good brother.... Is it so hard to do it? My brothers are respectful of me, but is it a force tingy coz of my bad temper that they are afraid to go against me or it is a mutual sincere feeling towards me. I give them every support they need from me. I protect them when ever they are in trouble. I even dare to die for them to protect them. My chance of going to NUS was tarnished coz i thought they are the ones that matters. I want them to have a brighter future. To do well. I have gone thru hardship, unlike them. I noe how to survive. Do they see this?? Hmmm.. Are they moved by this?? I really dunno..............I miss MAMA. I miss how MAMA show love towards me. I noe she cares for me a lot. Fadli Fadli.. When are you gonna change ur attitude?? I have too.. 22 years old liao. I must gain some respect. And before i gain that, i have to give respect to people 1st. Where do i start? From my parents. MAMA, PAPA.. I promise i will give u all the respect in the world. No more shouting back and i will heed ur advices. I will grow up. Frens, you might be wondering why suddenly the change in attitude. Hmmm.. I guess its time up for me. You never noe when you or ur parents might leave one day(CHOI!!), might as well start now when they are around you. Maturity has got into me i guess. But the stupid, fun, crazy Fadli will still be around!!! Lolz..E'ah.. Ur the reason that made me wanna get on the good path. You made me feel like some1 respected. Some1 important, some1 that is worth to be good too.. Thank you so much dearie. U mean a lot to me. I made some really big decision in life. N i noe its worth it.. Anyway HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY to you Baby.. Hope you will remember that 1st birthday surprise i had for u and there will be more to come.. Lolz.. Love u loads darLz!!!!Fadli aka FiDDLer
Music Took Control at; 8:49 PM
Monday, September 15, 2008
1st Month Anniversary
14th August 2008 was the day 2 people came together. Zul Fadli and Nur Fathiha. 2 people with different personality joined as one. 14th September 2008 was their 1st Month Anniversary. Baby, we survived one month!!!(Mcm torturing like that.. Haha.. No its not ok!!). Its so nice to have her by my side. Her cuteness her personality and her being her. That is what attracts me most. The fact that i can relate her as a fren and my love 1 is the most important. Life has been great having her around. Baby we still got many2 months to go.. Happy 1st Month Baby once again!Today at work was really bored. Gosh! I can't wait to get my hands on more major stuffs. Work is great but i am too hungry for more things. Fadli, can't u just take it slow!!! Argh! I guess the only motivation I have in mind is, be a master on the current development at the moment. So when you move higher, you will not have any problems. I thank God for giving me this opportunity to let me have this job. Yes, it maybe stupid to have a dream to do Networking in life. At least i don't dread going to work or hating the things I do at work. Most people end up hating the job they do at work. I am lucky that I am doing something that i love.Mummy got me another student. Hmmm.... Primary 3.. Slow student.. Have to be patient. To take or not to take. Zam PSLE is ending soon. Meaning no additional income after that. I guess I have to take it up. Oh well, it feels good if you are able to nurture these kind of student. I have always bear in mind what Mr Sada(my pri 6 form teacher) said, " There is no stupid student, just plain lazy..". It is so true!!! Haha... Practise makes perfect. My motto to studying. CCNA is my 1st step by the end of the year. How i wish all these stuffs do not need money!! Haha.. Just cause of money, all these have to wait. Money does make certain things go round. Kwang3.....................Tts all folKs!!! Till then.. Amigos!!!Fadli aka FiDDLer
Music Took Control at; 1:15 AM
Friday, September 12, 2008
The Right Decision
Baby E'ah, if your reading this, please do not misunderstand what i m tryin to say ok?? U noe rite at the end of the day the person i love and the person i wanna spend the rest of my life with is u rite?? Remember 17/08/2010??Fiddler was harsh today. Suhaila called and i decided to be a bastard and ignored her totally. It is reli so unlike me to treat her that way. Since she has always thought that her decision is always right, the Fiddler will also assume what he is doing is right too. Calls ignored, calls rejected, calls were left unattended. She cried.. Never once throughout the 5 years i knew her she cried that way. Little tears started coming out. But never will i give in to my emotions. I just had to tell her that we are done. Nothing is left between us anymore. Even love. Memories will always stay in our mind, but others will be washed away. Deep down in her, her actions, her words.. She is still holding on the FiDDLer. But he will never ever give in to that, coz FiDDLer have found a wonderful replacement who is better than her. Respect, appreciating me and understanding me when i voice our someting. FiDDLer's last words.. " I'm sorry Suhaila, i know i was being a bastard. You have your frens, family and Rendra. And that is what matters" (qouting you).Today was 1st day at work! Been sick the last 3 days!! Damn sucky ar.. But i shall not give in to the stupid virus. Haha!!! Oh well.. Been feeling much better with Nerdy E'ah's company. Though she did not really pamper me much but oh well. I just had to adapt right. Tanx baby!Work was crazy.. Tryin to tell myself not to give in to the sickness and concentrate on work. Worst of all was, i felt insulted with some comments. Hmmm.. We young engineers aren't capable enough is it. Not experience enuough can gain experience through practise and guidance right??????? Please consider that ok... Oh well, though i understand that we are new but... Oh well.. If my talents or capabilites ain't good enough, be it.. One day i will work harder and prove that i am worth it..Will be busy the next few days to prepare for someting for Nerdy E'ah.. LEcEH ar bday bday ni semua!!! HAHAH!!! Kidding gal... Lolz.. Baby i promise u i will do someting rite.. I will do it.. Juz keep to what you promise me.. N i will be the last person to wish u.. Not the 1st!!! Boring sia.. Every1 wants to b the 1st... Lolz!!! For a change i will be the last ok?????? Lolz..19.. Hmmmm.. 3 yrs ago.. How was it like to b 19.. Lolz.. Anyway... Juz get ready k baby!!! It will be one hell of a night!!!Fadli aka FiDDLer
Music Took Control at; 11:43 PM
Sunday, September 7, 2008
She got This tHAng Going
One more week, there u go! Fadli and Fathiha 1st month annivesary. 30 days of fun, love and more love. Too bad there was that one day we did not meet. Haha.. Oh well, babe! I kept my promise liao! Told you that i will keep to my promise!Dear Blog, I want to tell you that can you help me forget her in my dreams? Haiz, all the bad memories i have with her. I am really scared to go to sleep. Why does the bad memories stays in my mind constantly. Is it that hard for me to juz take it easy and juz forget the past? Just to b frens wif her. At the end of the day we are human beings who made mistakes. Sobz...... The last few days have been bad. Din reli sleep well, scared to go to sleep.. Guess i have to get back to my sleeping pills again during my off days. If only u can tell me wat to do bloggy. I m feelin so tired already. I wanna rest. E'ah needs my attention!! I WAN TO SLEEP!! I WAN TO SLEEP!!The last few days have been reli nice. E'ah is opening up to me nowadays. Seeing how she cuddles up to me when we r in our manje mood melts me. So how tomboyish she is she does have ke keWANITAAN side!! Kwang3.. Nowadays i will look forward to spend my 3 off days wif her.. Coz she is wat matters in my life nowadays. Some of the pics we have taken. Check it out PpLe!! She look so cute la (though it is a bias comment from me, but HECK!!)
Cool rite her so called cheerleader look!! Lolz.. Abit bitchy la!! Haha!! Anyway Nerdy E'ah is going to Avril's concert today! Its like FINALLY for her!! Cant imagine her small build among the crowds. She will b like a lost child sia! Kwang3.. Gonna pick Nerdy E'ah up at Kallang after her concert. N after that dunno where to head for dinner sia. Tink TInk TINk TINK!! Lolz.Wah, eyes too tired liao.. Guess im gonna take a nap. Damn tired liao!! I will blog when i will blog again!! ChiaoZ!!Fadli aka FiDDLer
Music Took Control at; 9:08 AM
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Our Song
You're a falling star, You're the get away car.You're the line in the sand when I go too far.You're the swimming pool, on an August day.And you're the perfect thing to say.And you play it coy, but it's kinda cute.Ah, When you smile at me you know exactly what you do.Baby don't pretend, that you don't know it's true.Cause you can see it when I look at you.And in this crazy life, and through these crazy timesIt's you, it's you, You make me sing.You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.You're a carousel, you're a wishing well,And you light me up, when you ring my bell.You're a mystery, you're from outer space,You're every minute of my everyday.And I can't believe, uh that I'm your man,And I get to kiss you baby just because I can.Whatever comes our way, ah we'll see it through,And you know that's what our love can do.And in this crazy life, and through these crazy timesIt's you, it's you, You make me singYou're every line, you're every word, you're everything.So, La, La, La, La, La, La, LaSo, La, La, La, La, La, La, LaAnd in this crazy life, and through these crazy timesIt's you, it's you, You make me sing.You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.You're every song, and I sing along.'Cause you're my everything.Yeah, yeahSo, La, La, La, La, La, La, LaSo, La, La, La, La, La, La, La, La, La, La, La
Music Took Control at; 2:49 AM
