FiddLing His Journey

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Deep doWn iN me

Fiddling on this computer chair, i wonder.. What is a real relationship? 22Years living in the fiddled world. I haven not found the answer to it. Sacrifices after sacrifices. Accepting one's flaws, trying to b matured when u noe u cant. I reli wonder. Ex-SHE expected a lot from me. Being this and that.. I tried, but failed. Now the present-SHE, takes a relationship very easy. Y is it always the FiDDLer trying to make tings work but neve the other way round. Its reli tired to do all this, but love is blind ain't it. Deep down my heart aches. Reli pain.. The FiDDLer is Happy but reli scared.. Scared that the present-SHE will juz end all this. I dun mind doin anyting for her. For her to b happy.. Haiz**wateva ar!! Im crapping**.. FiDDLer aint feelin real good. b4 u get, u want it so much, after u get its juz taking it easy aint it.. **Slapz face, ur strong FiDDLer!! Wake up!!**

17 days n running, i reli doubt there was a day only me n her had private moments for the whole day. Kind of sad though.. but too bad FiDDLer, she feels happier when she is wif her frens, not u.. Ur juz tere n tere to fill her life up. Oh well, its only 17 days mar!! Kwang3.. Sad2 for wat rite. Remember FiDDLer always belives being in love is not juz being happy but to accept ur partner's flaw no matter wat. Stick to that! Hahaa.. For how long i will b able to do tt?? I reli dunno.. Life is unpredictable.. Life will neve b smooth, so is love.. I noe that presently i love her and i do wanna spend the rest of my life wif her. Hope Allah will bless me wif that. I reli m too tired to start all over again. She needs time now i noe but i cant help but feelin sad sometimes that i dun get reli much attention like how she gives attention to her frens.. Time, time n time.. Time is the best cure for everyting meh?!!! Fuck! Now im getting irritated. **I am juz crapping la i guess**. Dunno wat to type liao la!!! SObz.. :(

Fadli aka FiDDLer

Music Took Control at; 12:08 AM

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Towning..

Seoul Garden - YuMMY!!
Town - FuN!!!!
KrumPLer - NiCe2!!
AdiDas Shoe - ChiO ke PE!!!

After so long of CWP and esplanade, its finally to town!!! WooOOHoooOOO~~ NIce la.. Just bein myself, making noise, doing stupid stuffs and laughing non-stop.. FiDDLer reli had fun. tHough tere was a bit of misunderstanding, im happy that the day turned out fine. It Nerdy E'ah 1st viSit to Seoul Garden!! Gosh!! Her Look was so JakuN sia!! Lolz..

At town, i was lookINg foR a blACK shoe!! Nerdy E'ah chose it for me.. Damn Nice la!! So i got it!! Love it though. Was afraid i will look funny in it. But nice2. Got a kruMpler Bag for Nerdy E'ah since she needed it. Paisey2 koNon!! **TumbuK aru tahU** :P

Reli felt haPPy today!! need to sleep now.. Headin to the gym tomorrow!! Work out!! Nite2

Fadli aka FiDDLer

Music Took Control at; 12:28 AM

Monday, August 25, 2008

My Replacement... She is...

3 Str DayS oF fun, love n mOre LOVE in the air. Fireworks, lepAkingZ n beIn bELo.. GOSH!! Haven done tt for a long long time. I felt different. The fiDDLer is feelin different. Life has never been more fun than being my these new ALIENS around me[KWang, KWAng, KWANg!!!!]. Shekyn, anuar, karem, yana and my new replacement in LIFE, Nerdy E'ah. Baby, ur the best la.. Tanx so much for letting me b myself. The crazy me..

We so called took our 1st pic together. Its kinda sad that it was a bit blur. So i tried editing it a bit.. N it turned out cute to me.. i LOvve it so much. We look so cute n silly!! Oh well, who cares.. as long i happy can liao wor.

She slowly opening up to me. Getting comfortable being wif me. I was so happy to see her girlish side in her. Her smile her laughter, her silliness. Haha.. I cant stop smilling tinking bout it. Baby, u remember what i told u on the 22/8/08? My Everything? My Life.. U r rite now.. U r.. You make me feel as if im the luckiest person on earth. Tere isn't a day that we haven met.. Hope these continues. It feels so nice to see u.. The silly u...

2nd day, of quitting ciggy campaign.. Damn!! reli shiong wor!! But dear, as i typin tiz im smoking my 1st stick!! cannot tahan ar.. hingus asik melilih leh!!! Lolz.. Hope u dun mind k!!! I noe u wun!! Hehe.. Tok to u on msn sweetie!!

Fadli aka FiDDLer

Music Took Control at; 10:17 PM

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Does the Past Matters?

HeLL NO!! Who cares bout the past when u have the present and let's look forward for the future!! Haha.. Damn! Freaking long long day today. Been damn bz at work. Calls after calls, case after case.. Can go crazy sia like that. Oh well, tomorrow is the last day of shift.. ENDURE!!!

The past shapes and prepares you for the present and the present prepares you for the future. My teenage life was hell of a crazy one. Ups and downs, lefts n rights.. Right decisions, wrong decisions.. Now adult life, is totally a brand new start. Me aint gonna be foolish, childish or stupid anymore. Now i truly appreciate the present. Nerdy E'ah!!! My new obsession.Her smell!!!!! I cant stop smelling her!!! God Dammit!!!

Mummy has always nagged at me to learn to b independent, thrifty.. Now i understand what she means by that. Work aint easy.. N to study n work is worst.. But oh well, i reli cant wait to get back to my computer books. A dream to work as a network engineer internationally has been my dream since poly. Not easy.. But i will neve give up that dream of mine. If so many pple have achieved their dream, y cant i.. Nerdy E'ah, i promise u to give u a blissful life.. Mummy, i promise u i will neve disappoint u.. I wanna bring fame to my family n love ones.

Today, foo seng(my shift partner) and i came up wif a new motto. FREE STUFF AINT GOOD, GOOD STUFF AINT CHEAP!!! It is so damn bloody true!! Lolz.. Talking bout work, working in a data centre is crazy. My body is like in a heywire!! Always feeling cold, even perspire come out oso cold!! Siao rite!!! Lolz.. Still having a light fever but oh well.. got my antidote!!! Nerdy E'ah's smell.. WoooHooo~~~

Baby, i did this for you while on my way to meet u juz now. Hope u like it..

I walk alone through the darkness
with nothing left for me in life
but I dare not give up my search
for hopes of finding the light in my life
that I yearn so deeply for.

Wanting to just give up many times
but the image of her in my head
keeps me pushing forward
never stopping, never resting
in fear of missing her
and loosing her forever.

No matter what stands in my way
I shall keep pressing on and searching,
for she has my heart and my soul

Shes my reason for breathing...

Music Took Control at; 11:17 PM

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

//~~Tired Sia~~\\

Here i am.. Back on my desk. Haha!! How tired i was today, after looking at my Nerdy E'ah, she juz freshens me up. Guess wat, she picked me up from work! So sweet rite. Neve once any gal actually came to pick me up from work even though how free they r!! Baby, once again ur the 1st!!!! Lolz!!

Tomorrow second day of shift. One more day to go and my 3 days off is coming again. WooHoo~~ N come Friday, fireworks!!! M goin out wif my Nerdy E'ah and her frens to watch fireworks!!! N wat excites me most is, she is gonna wear a dress. I reli cant wait to c how lady she can b. Hehe.. She promised me we gonna take a pic together oso. We haven reli took a pic together yet though, so m reli looking forward to it.

Last few days, the FiddLer have been reli happy. Out of the world. "She" has been replaced. Not in terms of physical appearance but matters of the heart. Nerdy E'ah may not noe me tt well yet, at least she appreciates me loads! Tanx baby for making my life interesting once again. No doubt, as what i promise u, i will show n prove it to u..

Life have been fucked up during the last 2 years, slowly im fiddling around tryin to pick myself up back again. Karem, shekyn, anuar.. Nice meeting all of u!! U guys r a bunch of crazy pple!! I tink i noe what i reli wan in life now and who and wat matters most too..

Lastly once again, i wanna tanx Allah for finally guiding me to the correct path, opening up my eyes to certain lesson in life. giving me the strength to keep going during the last few months and most importantly, presenting me the gal who reli cares and appreciates me. I finally can b the childish Fadli and have fun when ever its time to have FUN!!! Haha!!!

Fadli aka FiddLer

Music Took Control at; 11:42 PM

Silence is Golden.. n Hurtful too though!

Hurt, sad?? Nah.. Y is it so hard to tok?? Lolz.. Yes i was angry.. Keeping quiet is the last ting i wan a person esp my own gf to b.. Haha.. Baby, im not angry wif u.. Just sad that u still feel shy n dun wan to tok to me.. I love u sey, how can i b angry at u kan.. Hehe.. **Muackz!!

Tomorrow back to work!! Feel so motivated. After the last 3 days of Head pain, body ache.. Had to bear all that and feel strong!! Gosh, if only i was in NS, sure "keng" MC liao wor!!! I feel so much better now. Coz i get to c her!! Guess smelling her is the antidote to all my sickness ba!! WooHoo~~~

Her bday is juz a few weeks away.. Haven reli got anyting done yet. Present decided, planning.. I reli need her frens numbers to do tt sia.. Better start getting their numbers real soon. The more i delay, so many last minute decision to make!! Haha.. Reli hope she will love her bday sia!!!

Baby, juz get ready ok to have a Birthday Party tiz yr!!!!

Fadli aka FiddLer

Music Took Control at; 12:04 AM

Monday, August 18, 2008

My Everything

"Beauty lIes iN thE eYeS oF thE beHOLder".. It is so true. 3rd day and running.. For months, gals after gals.. Finally i found Her.. Be it, wateva comments any1 waNNa say.. I tink she is the best.. Nerdy E'ah.. Loving a person is juz not being happy, or even love.. But to accpet the negative tings about the other party. N to find tt person, its like finding a needle in a hay stack. I found her.

Today, i din reli do much.. Slacked, slack and more slack. Much to dismay that another day has passed but it was ok. Was more than happy to have the person u love by ur side. The laughter, her smell her jokes. Everyting bout her juz made my day. She never fail to make me laugh. Silly her. Her sucky ex bf juz suck big time la.. A freakin mat rep sia.. Haiz.. How scared i am that she might leave me for him again, i have to have confident in her n myself. Nothing scares me. I dun wanna lose a gal who opened up my heart again to love, a gal who i noe who loves me whole heartedly. I reli dun wan. God has presented me to her, i shall take care of her. " I tak penah ade guy yg syg i ampai mcm ni sey..." Gosh!!! I feel so flattered. Guess i juz love her ba. I promise her and any1 who will be reading this, i am not gonna hurt her or disappoint her. She has become My Life, My Everything...

Fadli aka FiddLer

Music Took Control at; 1:53 AM

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Our First

Fathiha... I reli dunno how she blew me away. 2mths back, for a moment LOVE was no longer in my dictionary. It changed me, it ruined me.. Now, i m in love. Baby, if u r readin tiz, plz plz plz tell me why!!!! Haha.. Today was nice, finally i get to spend our 1st private moments wif her after so many days.. The soft side of her.. **winkz** Baby, i will remember 14th of August.. We will celebrate our annivesary together every month aiight??

All i have to say for this 1st post is: I AM FEELING SO BLESSED. Thank you ALLAH for opening up my eyes and my heart to accept this LADY you brought upon me. Life ignition will neve b the same again for me. Love, Hate.. Its all over... The real Birth of Fiddler...........

Fathiha... For u Baby...

Every1 wants to be the sun that lights up your life. But I would rather be your moon, so I can shine on you during your darkest hour when your sun ain't around.. Let me b the person to hold your hand tightly to face Life Ignition. Love u...

Music Took Control at; 12:28 AM